when angles turn monsters

Nina called and we went for lunch together at Warong. We bumped into Kak Zarina in the lift and asked her to join us.

Kak Zarina is quite an expert in reading palm. Yes, I know, syirik... muslims musn't believe it, bla bla bla! Guys, keep your words... I know. Thanks.

Anyways, I never had her read mine, but today I did. I never liked to judge people and I know Kak Zarina is just reading it based on what she learnt. She may be right or may be wrong.

I allow her to finish my both palms and while she's explaning it to me, I can see Nina with her cynical smile at me. hhhmmm...

The point is, I'm not even bothered to ask Kak Zarina to dwell deeper on her "findings" but I was rather disturb with her one particular statement!

"You have so much potential but you have yet to realise it. So far, there are too many obstacles that stop you from reaching the limit. Yes, you may succeed and it's all in your mind! InsyaAllah..."

I can't help it but think. I am going to be 32 this year, and;

1. What have I achieved?
2. Where have all the dreams gone?
3. What accomplishment can I be proud of?
4. When the times up, what kind of legacy will I leave behind?
   

I don't have all the answers. I'm such a looser!

In a way, Kak Zarina made me realise one thing i.e. to refocus my energy and to reconnect my mind on both Erja and me.

I need to go for things when I can, because I might never have the chance again. I can't be selfish, can't affort it any longer.

I turn off my laptop, and watch the screen go dark.