health checks every woman should have

No matter how busy your are, take the initiative to go for regular health checks as it can greatly contribute to preventing serious illness before it's too late.

Why am I suddenly serious about this? 1) because of my current condition. I'm not 100% fit. 2) the last medical check-up was 7 years ago when I joined the company, and 3) I want to spent the rest of my life with Erja. When I'm gone, I want Erja to remember every bit of the moment we spend together.

So, hear me and let me share these. Erja would also need to know this.

Facts...

1. According to the National Cancer Society of Malaysia, 1 in 9 women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime.
2. In a regional cancer registry survey in Malaysia, it was discovered that the 10 leading cancers among females were the cervix, breast, ovary, lung, nasopharynx (I don't even know what this is), esaphagus, thyroid, colon, rectum and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

The risk gets higher as one gets older and it is essential that we go through the following health checks especially if we are in our 30s and above.

I got this from a magazine. (Notes to myself : perhaps this list may come handy, later)

• Pelvic exam and Pap smear - Annually
• Breast exam - Annually
• Blood pressure - Every two years
• Cholesterol test - Every five years
• Hepatitis blood test - Any time
• Blood tests for cancer or tumour markers
  (these blood test should not be done routinely to screen women without symptoms)
• Bone density exam - Age 50 and above or younger if you have specific health conditions
• Eye exam - if your vision changes

We know that we are the best person to take charge of our health as no one knows us better than ourselves. And most of the time, I reluctant to confront my fear...

when angles turn monsters

Nina called and we went for lunch together at Warong. We bumped into Kak Zarina in the lift and asked her to join us.

Kak Zarina is quite an expert in reading palm. Yes, I know, syirik... muslims musn't believe it, bla bla bla! Guys, keep your words... I know. Thanks.

Anyways, I never had her read mine, but today I did. I never liked to judge people and I know Kak Zarina is just reading it based on what she learnt. She may be right or may be wrong.

I allow her to finish my both palms and while she's explaning it to me, I can see Nina with her cynical smile at me. hhhmmm...

The point is, I'm not even bothered to ask Kak Zarina to dwell deeper on her "findings" but I was rather disturb with her one particular statement!

"You have so much potential but you have yet to realise it. So far, there are too many obstacles that stop you from reaching the limit. Yes, you may succeed and it's all in your mind! InsyaAllah..."

I can't help it but think. I am going to be 32 this year, and;

1. What have I achieved?
2. Where have all the dreams gone?
3. What accomplishment can I be proud of?
4. When the times up, what kind of legacy will I leave behind?
   

I don't have all the answers. I'm such a looser!

In a way, Kak Zarina made me realise one thing i.e. to refocus my energy and to reconnect my mind on both Erja and me.

I need to go for things when I can, because I might never have the chance again. I can't be selfish, can't affort it any longer.

I turn off my laptop, and watch the screen go dark.

one more song

Somewheerre over the raiiiinboooow,
Waaayyy up highhh,
That's where youuuu and I will goooo,
And eat a box of big French frieees.

Sang by Beth in the book entitled " Riding the Bus with My Sister - A True Life Journey"

darling ku... Erja

Erja at 10 months-old

I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her... I love her...

VERY MUCH... muahhh... *hugs*

yes, another attack

On my back from Dr. Fauzi's homeopathy clinic yesterday, I had another attack. I was rushed to Gleneagle, and alhamdullilah nothing alarming.

I don't think I'm going to delay another day for my medical check-up.

There goes my weekend... *sigh*

shopping time!

Finally I've decided to visit Zara after my bodypump class on thursday to check out the "further mark down" deal. Oh dear, too much stuff to try but too little time. It was already 9:30 p.m. Being a regular, I can easily get the staff to reserve some pants and suits for me even it was on sale. And I promised than that I'll come back tomorrow during lunch.

Come Friday at 12:45 p.m., I was there "terpacak" infront of the cashier. I tried them all and even the ones than Wan and Ruth (both of them are Zara's staff) suggested. I love them all! I didn't know which to choose but a small voice within me told me ... "I look damn good in the new suits and more importantly, I have lost so much weight and need new wardrobe... :-)"

Wan was shocked (plus happy) that I decided to take all and Ruth was very patience measuring my pants for alteration. Natasha, the cashier counted all and I pretended that I wasn't shocked with the amount that I have to pay... "psssttt... it's more than RM1k... ssshhhh"... "tell no one please..."

Do I feel guilty? hell yes when I gave Natasha my credit card. But, on my home, when I started to imagine myself in those new suits, I'm fine. Can't wait to tell Nina and Wani about it.

I feel good, that's all I care!

p/s - Need to do more ushering next two months. Duty Manager slot would be great! Nonie... *hint, hint*

the time when I was down

It has been a long day today and I had to go for ushering at 5:15 p.m. The only food I had today was mixed green salad at SF. I thought of having a light snack before ushering, but tak sempat. I felt dizzy and almost fainted, lucky it was just a short concert. We were done by 7:45 p.m.

I went to Cold Storage to stock up food for my darling, Erja. I'm done in 30 mins and ready to drive home. Suddenly I felt suffocated and have difficulty to breath. I knew I can't drive alone when my vision suddenly went blur. I had to call someone and Nina was the one who came to rescue me. I refused to go to Gleneagles and asked Nina to drive me home. I just needed to rest. In the car, it went bad to worst. I was sweating and both my hands were numb. When I started to have chest pain, I asked Nina to drive me to the nearest clinic.

Doctor gave be something to ease my breathing and later some medication to calm me down. Alhamdullilah after 30 mins, I was OK. Doctor also advised me to do a thorough medical check up especially my heart. Yes, my dad and atuk passed away from sudden heart attacked.

It was a scary experience and I'm very thankful to I have a friend like Nina. Thanks Nina.

p/s - hubby was in Kuantan

question of trust

I woke up this morning and having a strange thought about "trust".

One thing I learnt today that I musn't simply trust people although the ones who is very much closed to you. I have my reasons and it's enough to conclude that I was being too naive.

Of course, I'm sad. I felt like screaming my heart out just now. I thought of confronting it and I ended up confronting with my own self. Thank God, I manage to look at it on different angle.

Oh well, it's not my fault if you can't accept me. But, please acknowledge that we all make mistakes and if you can't give me another chance, please oh please... don't backstab me.

*don't feel like talking*

daddy, daddy cool

apple of daddy's eye

A beautiful article written by Loshini Catherine John, Nuance, New Sunday Times on February 8, 2003 about two precious people in my life.

***

Definitely daddy's girl

Erja (pronounced Erya) was born only after a year of marriage but for Mohd Suhaimy Kamaruddin, making the big move from Formula One cars to formula milk wasn’t a problem.

“I was the last guy in my circle of friends to get married back in 2002 and, considering that I got married pretty late, I wanted to start a family right away,” explains the 31-year-old PETRONAS manager.

“It was difficult for me at first because as soon as I found out that my wife was pregnant, I was posted to the Middle East and only came back in time for the delivery,” says Suhaimy.

Wife Jami’aton was initially also left to care for the baby alone as Suhaimy had to return to the Middle East one month after Erja’s birth. Fortunately, he was sent back to Malaysia after three months and he has been happily sharing the responsibility of taking care of the baby since.

“I look at Erja and everything still seems so surreal. I can’t believe I’m capable of making something so beautiful!” he laughs.

Yes, there were a lot of changes that he had to go through and it quickly dawned on him that, with his new responsibilities, the “honeymoon” was pretty much over.

“My wife and I share the same workplace and that means seeing a lot of each other. A normal workday for me had meant waking up in the morning and going to the gym before leaving for the office. When Erja came along, I had to drop the routine because I wouldn’t have slept well the night before. She is quite a handful and though my wife wakes up in the night to feed her, being a pretty light sleeper, I too get up.

“Still, I take one look at my eight-month-old and it’s all worth it. These days, I find myself rushing home after work just so that I can be with her before she falls asleep.”

His lifestyle may have been altered slightly as like other new dads, Suhaimy can no longer spend as freely as before, including having to put aside money for Erja’s future. But this, he willingly does because he says she is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

“I never knew I could love someone so much until Erja came into my life. Of course I love my wife very much, but it’s different with my baby.”

Erja is definitely daddy’s girl. According to Suhaimy’s mother, Erja is exactly like her daddy when he was little.

“My mother tells me that looking at Erja now is just like watching an old movie of me,” he beams.

Weekends are spent with the whole family at shopping centers around town. “Most of the time it’s Suria KLCC. She loves it there. Just sitting in the pram watching the world go by seems to be her favourite past-time at the moment.”

bagaikan sakti

A beautiful song and lyrics by M. Nasir for Puteri Gunung Ledang sound track.

***

Cinta datang tanpa diundang
Seumur masa tercipta
Dia datang bagai sakti
Bagai menyaksi mekar kembang pagi

Cinta datang dengan senyuman
Panasnya membakar mentari
Wajah yang tergambar
Tak akan terpadam
Dari hati insan yang fana ini

Tak mungkin mentari akan terus sembunyi
Tiada sempadan tak bias ku lewati

Jika ini hakikatnya
Aku serahkan jiwa dan ragaku
Menantimu walau sengsara
Jika ini ketentuannya
Jika ini hakikatnya
Aku serahkan jiwa dan raga
Jika ini ketentuannya
Kau kan jadi milikku jua

***

I love him, regardless...

this is my qurban story

Nothing unusual.

We went to Ampang this morning to ziarah my dad's kubur and I spent few minutes alone there - just thinking and talking. Although it has been 7 years now, It doesn't get any easier. In fact, it gets tougher as I get older. I miss him, and I find myself thinking about the old days more often now. I can't help but wish my dad is around so that we can talk about things. Yes, I talk to him everyday in my prayer and sometimes he is in my dream especially when I'm going through a rocky road.

Later, we headed to P.J to ziarah my father in-law's kubur. Erja was excited as usual and dragged me down the hill. She was screaming and I had no choice but to follow her. She seems curious and wanted to explore further until my husband call us.

At home - my mom has already prepared few extra dishes last - redang ayam, soto, kuah kacang with nasi impit, popiah and paru goreng. Yes, it's yummy and I was happily "wallup" the food with extra guilt. No worry, I will work extra harder for the extra calories gained.

I can't skip bodypump class on monday... no more excuse!

thank god I found you

(Mariah)
I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I've finally found a man that's true
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

(Chorus - all)

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

(Joe)
I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Because without you beside me
I can't survive
I don't wanna try
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be all right Cause I need you in my life

(Chorus - all)

Thank God I found you (I'm begging you)
I was lost without you (so lost without you)
My every wish and every dream (every dream, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

Bridge- (Mariah & Joe)
See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess it shows
that we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
And care for what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you (lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life (whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Sweet baby I'm so thankful I found you

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful I found you

(Mariah)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful I found you

by Mariah Carey

ok, let me try this one.

According to Robin Sharma, the author of "the monk who sold his ferrari", "to cultivate the habit of getting up earlier, the first thing to remember is that it is the quality rather than the quantity of sleep that matters most. It is better to have six (6) hours uninterrupted sleep than ten (10) hours of restless, broken sleep."

Robin gave four (4) tips to help us sleep more deeply. Hmm...

1. Don't rehearse the activities of your day while you are lying in bed trying to get to sleep.
2. Don't eat after 8:00 p.m. (if you have to eat something, have soup)
3. Don't watch the news before you go to sleep
4. Don't read in bed

I can do nos. 1 -3, but nos. 4 will be a bit of challenge la. Oh well, let's see how this new habit can qualify me to be in the "Five o'Clock Club".

salam aidil adha - 1425

I'm so glad that tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji - another long weekend for me.

May Allah accept our good deeds and our 'korban' and make things easy for all of us.

Salam Aidil Adha to all.

love or guilt, which is it?

Someone asked me a question this morning.

"Why are we willing to sacrifice or help someone? It is because we love him/her or because we feel guilty?"

"ASIAN always feel guilty. They will act based on that. There will always be an element of kesian or emotional blackmail in our daily life." This is an observation from a Muslim convert who has been in Malaysia for almost 16 years, married to a Malay and has 2 kids.

Whether it's true or not, it's irrelavant to me. Imagine that you are asking a favor from your spouse, partners or someone that you love and they did it out of guilt, not becuase they want to! But, of course there will be another element in the equation la, which is sincerity or ikhlas... and how do you react?

So... whatever we do, are we doing it because we love it or because we feel guilty? If you ask me, I'm surrounded with people who always act based on GUILT!

love sonnet

by Elizabeth B. Browning

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with
breadth, smiles, tears, of all my life! - and
If God choose
I shall but love thee better after death

a walk to remember

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boast-ful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

By Corinthians from A Walk to Remember

honor your past

I have learnt that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.

Booker T. Washington

back-seat mimickers

Someone told me this.

"If you are a good and careful driver, your children will probably be good and careful drivers too. Conversely, if you are a menace behind the wheel, then your children will proably also turn out be menaces!"

When Erja grows up, I want her to be the "fast and furiously save" (like what her Uncle Torque said) F1 driver! yes, no?

"F1 driver wannabe" mommy

to be grateful

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

think about it in a second or two

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

on children

A friend sent it to me in an email. When I doubt my ability to raise my children, I read this.

Children by Kahlil Gibran - 1923

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your childrenas living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

al-fatihah

Tata sms'ed me at 00:25 hrs today.

"Ismail Sudar meninggal dunia pada 12/01/2005, 10 p.m. at 23 Jalan 2/6B Bandar Tun Hussein Onn"

He was with the Indonesian BD Team, Gas Biz. He passed away at the age of 39 due to heart attack. It was a breaking news (oh yes!) and I can't sleep after that.

Semoga Allah swt mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Amin.

footprints

"Walk a little slower daddy. Said a child so small. I'm following in your footsteps and I don't want to fall."

Sometimes your steps are very fast
Sometimes they're hard to see
So walk a little slower, Daddy
For you are leading me

Someday when I'm all grown up
You're what I want to be
Then I will have a little child
Who'll want to follow me

And I would want to lead just right
And I know that I was true
So, walk a little slower, Daddy
For I must follow you.

warm gestures

Today is just another day, not until I saw an e-mail for DZ, The Gongkapas Times. Her word of wisdom gave me courage and strength to move on.

*Many thanks, Ms Dinsy...*

The one from The Gongkapas Times...

How can someone who loves you so much be so wrong for you?

1. You don't love the same way.
   
2. Think - it may sound romantic, but it could also be that in the long run there will be incompatibility issues. She's homely, you're a barfly. She's intellectual and you're an idiot. Many reasons.
   
3. You may not agree with me, and much as I hate to admit it, but your background matters. If you're the high falutin' power broker, it's nice to have a good woman loving you, but if she's as 'kampung' as you think she is, you will not be taking her anywhere. I have seen this happen and don't give me *&^% about saying class and status do not matter. Which planet are you from?
   
4. She may be the most loving person on earth but you are an undaunted lothario. You are a cheat in every sense. And to have that love would be detrimental to your conscience.
   
5. You don't love the same way.
   And if you, man or woman, loves someone very much but the love is not returned, let me tell you this:
   Cut your losses.
   He or she will never see you for who you are.
   All that pain will have you on Xanax. It ain't worth it.
   
   You will survive. I promise you. I promise you with my whole heart you will survive.

p/s - Harikiri sequel, no?

hello from America

I received an e-mail from Amy Cline (my roomie in Boulder) yesterday. I was almost in tears reading her e-mail. I was too excited and replied the e-mail immediately. And this morning another long e-mail in my inbox.

I don't know where to begin and the last time we met was about 7 years ago. In short, I can conclude that:

1. Amy is happily married to Gil (Gilbert) and live in Portland, Oregon
2. Amy is working full-time with the hospital while pursuing a Master's in Public Health with an emphasis on Policy.
3. Amy & Gil are planning to start a family when she graduate

I missed her so much!

single-minded

1. When two's a crowd
2. Planning for singledom
3. The "D" factor? been there, done that

"I kept repeating scenes in my mind and the more I did, the angrier I got."

what does it mean, really?

Mama sms me saying that she's leaving for KB now. But, another sms from her make me think.

"Yes, a few days after that, but as always keputusan dia mendahului pengetahuan Mama, I'm very sorry..."

get well soon, my darling

Both, Erja and my mom are down with flu. When I reached home, mom sounded pretty bad but Erja is still energatic greeting me at the door.

p/s - mom got it from Erja.

dinner with Azi

I decided to meet Azi for dinner and skip gym (oh no!). Azi was surprised when she saw me. Yes, I've lost a lot of weight and wearing "tudung" now.

We went to Dome and had a long talk. She loves Sydney and enjoy what she is doing, and have an Oz boyfriend.

I will meet her again and maybe bring Erja to the Suitestay for the weekend. We'll see...

next time I will...

I had lunch with Nina Girl at SF today. I missed having her around. She left the company to follow her dream - be rich and independent! I respect her for that. We had a good time (as usual) and exchanged stories till it was already 2:00 p.m.

And suddenly, I got sms from 2 friends, Rena and Azi. We studied together in Boulder and I have not met them for ages.

Sms from Rena;
"Happy to announce our newest addition to the family. Baby girl born today @ 9:42 a.m., 3.45kg, SJMC. Mom n baby in good spirits!"

I can't help it. She walked me back down to the memory lane when I was in Boulder. Jeff (her husband) & Rena and other people too... helped me to go through the tragedy of the sudden death of my late father back in December 1997. Jeff and Rena had given their unconditional support (physically & emotionally) to us especially, my mom.

We might visit them this weekend!

Another sms is from Azi. She will be here until March working for client in KL. The last time we met was in year 2002 (few month after my wedding) and she then move to Australia.

I'll meet her for dinner soon - maybe thursday or friday.

from the "notes to myself"

If I had only...
forgotten future greatness
and looked at the green things and the buildings
and reached out to those around me
and smelled the air
and ignored the forms and the self-styled obligations
and heard the rain on the roof
and put my arms around my wife
... and it's not too late

p/s - Almost done with the book. I'm inspired to write something like that as a monumental journey the whole human race has embarked upon.

the one for Erja

We are looking for a program and product that make your baby "A Genius". Yes, I know, it's scarry huh!

No worry we are not going to torture Erja with some boring "boring" stuff. Erja and I will more things to do together now.

Have you ever heard about Dr. Glenn Doman Method and Dr. Shichida Method? I did a thorough research on both and will share my analysis later.

In short, both programms focus on developing the right-brain capabilities.

the edge of reason

Yes, today is the Bridget Jones-The Edge of Reason sneak previews. I've been waiting for it and am hoping that I could finish the book first. I've been planning to watch it with my husband but haven't told him yet. How?

Bought new book at Kinokuniya :-
"Notes To Myself, My Struggle To Become A Person" by Hugh Prather

what? not again, please...

I thought virus is the ones that infected my T21 when I connected to streamyx. I was wrong! I tried to get online last night and the error message "Windows must restart now. Remote Procedures Call (RPC) service terminated unexpectedly" is pop-up. What to do now? Must call Azzad, the streamyx dealer.

help!

lunch at Ampang Park

I had lunch with Wani, my close friend today. He wanted to have McDonald's prosperity burger at AmP. And I decided to join him. When we reached Ampang Park, believe it or not Wani suddenly changed his mind. He was tempted to have "laksa" when he suddenly smell a strong belacan (shrimp paste) with "otak udang" as we passed a small restaurant. Oh well, we ended up having "laksa", "chi chong fan" with fresh orange juice (without sugar of course). I lurve laksa too.. It was a good lunch and it cost us only RM10:00 each. Not bad huh!

I suddenly remembered about a book entitle The Da Vinci Code". Wani read it a long time ago and he said it's a must-read. I've been wanting to read it and just now, EM one of my colleagues also mentioned about it. I might drop by the Times Book Store/Kinokuniya before I go back.

Gym? Not today.

Opps, dentist appointment at 8:00 p.m. tonight. I mustn't miss this! Not again...

my1st book for 2005

I went to Times The Bookshop at KLCC yesterday and bought "Bridget Jones-The Edge for Reason", finally... I was so tempted to start reading it last night, but decided not to. I chose to spent time the night with my precious little Erja.

Perhaps this weekend... he he he!

myT21 is virus free now

Good news from Torque, my buddy. My IBM T21 is now virus free. Thanks to him! And I can comfortably connect to streamyx without any worry it will automatically shut down on me. What would I do without this IT specialist?

I missed my dentist appointment at 6:00 p.m. and it's not even possible to walk-in. *sigh*

moment of reflection

I experience something in my life that is so tangible that I'm puzzled there is no word for it.

it's Shanon, my good friend!

Shanon was in Starmag yesterday. We work with the same company, but he will be leaving soon to pursue his dream to become FAMOUS! sob... sob... but we are happy for him. (please don't forget Wani and me).

Here's the article for your reading pleasure.

SINGER-songwriter Shanon Shah may not be a household name yet but his debut album, Dilanda Cinta (Lovestruck), set to be released in mid-March, will change all that. According to Pang Khee Teik, the editor of Malaysia’s best-known arts website, kakiseni.com, Shanon is a breath of fresh air in the Malay pop scene.

"He is definitely a promising star, perhaps the best thing to watch this year. Shanon is a very talented person with a beautiful voice. He’s got great charisma. And not only is he a singer and songwriter, he is also a social activist who champions human rights issues and gender awareness.

"When he first performed at No Black Tie (in Kuala Lumpur), the audience loved him. Everyone was thoroughly impressed by his performance, including (guitar great) Julian Mokhtar, who actually got up from his seat and bowed in reverence!

"That he plays the piano and sings at the same time is really amazing. What’s more, he writes his own songs too. His songs have a certain elegance and poetry to them."

The performance Pang is referring to was at the Songwriters’ Round held at No Black Tie in 2003. The year before that, Shahnon was the grand prize-winner of the ICOM Millennium Malaysian Patriotic Song Competition with his composition, Kisahmu Belum Berakhir. Last year, he won the Most Promising Artiste award at the Boh Cameronian Arts Award. Cheah Mun Kit, managing director of recording label InterGlobal Music Malaysia, says he signed Shanon on because of his individualistic style.

"He’s in a class of his own. The songs he writes are very different from the typical Malay music repertoire. I believe he has the musical flair to bring Malay songs to greater heights. His style is classic, somewhat trendy with a traditional twist to it.

"It’s too premature to discuss Shanon’s commercial success. But he certainly has great potential for commercial success!"

So, what does the man himself have to say about his potential? Surprisingly, the 26-year-old comes across as quite tentative.

"When I started work on the album, all sorts of insecurities crept up on me. I constantly had self-doubts about the quality of my songs. It took me a while to believe in myself. And when I finally did, it was a great feeling. Like a huge weight off my chest," says Shanon who is also actively involved in projects with Malaysian AIDS Council, Amnesty International and Sisters in Islam.

So, how does he see 2005?

"I think it’s going to be a very exciting year, especially with the release of my first album - I wrote nine out of the 10 songs. I know I have to push myself as a performer because the local music industry is highly competitive if not fickle-minded.

"But one thing’s for sure, I can’t wait to write the songs for my next album!"

p/s - "Dilanda Cinta" is definitely my most-waited album of the year!

another 3 months to go

Erja turned 21 months today. I can't wait for her 2nd year birthday in April. I must start planning now. What do you think? hire a clown? too much is it? ... or too early, no?

do you see the pause button?

I'm at a position where I need to re-evaluate my life, regain focus, search for the purpose of my existance and strategise the next step for me to start the new journey...

I need support from you! Yes, you...

he hates me?

he hates me not?

and he has gone *sigh*

the end is the beginning

Another year has passed at an eye’s blink! Realising that time passes to fast, and I need to remind myself I actually have a choice to slow it down or quicken it. I then also realise that there is a reason for all things, because each year through my life has different highlights some good, some sad, some highs, some lows…

My greatest challenge is to learn from these “glitches” in my life so that I can keep moving forward. My response to these challenges us very important to me.

Then, I need to keep reminding myself that I have a purpose in this short life that Allah has given me and I need to get off my fat arse and do something about it while I still can. I trust Allah to show me what to do that will make a difference.

I believe that taking stock is absolutely imperative, so that I don’t major on the minor and minor on the major!

I stopped trying to make resolutions because I find that I keep breaking them. That makes me feel guilty. So now, I deal with the necessary changes each day as they come!

Taking Stock!
1.

I’m now 57kg – my effort and investment to loose weight & stay fit after gave birth to my little precious, Erja (she will turn 21 months on Jan 3rd).

2.

I’m in Gas Business fraternity now – bye bye to Education after long 6 years... sob sob...

3.

I was part of the F1 Marshall Car Driver Team for the Malaysian GP

Are these all?

I want to get pregnant again this year? and how is that possible???