Monday, February 28, 2005

be good, will you?

I'm leaving for Chennai, Madras in two hours time. Apparently Chennai is not very far from the tsunami area. And I may have a chance to visit the area...

Erja, please be good. Don't buli Nenek and NekSu. I'll be back in a week or the week after. I hope all the hugs and kisses will last until we see each other. I'll call you when I reach Chennai, OK.

Oh... I have to go now. I haven't changed my INR (Indian Rupee). Let me see... how much do I need? And based on my 10-page shopping lists...

saree, saree, saree, saree, saree, saree, saree, saree, saree, saree...
books
himalayan tea
earings for Nina and Sit

and the list go on and on...

oh well...

mom's 55th birthday

Your unconditional love for me has kept me going all these years. You are the best gift God has given me.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Let's celebrate after my Chennai trip. And we can go to your favorite restaurant!

You pick...

Friday, February 25, 2005

all the small things

Everyone is always asked to look at the bigger picture.

“Think outside the box.”

“Visualise on a greater scale.”

“Globalise your concept.”

These phrases are sometimes tossed around during the course of a normal day, turning a simple conversation into something akin to a motivational seminar given by Anthony Robbins or Asiaworks (I heard they called Malaysiaworks for the one in Malaysia, I dunno…), albeit a much cheaper one.

I think the word “small” has gotten a bad reputation. I sometimes rarely sweat the small stuff; it soon becomes clear that it is the little things in life that get to me the most.

Let me think… hmmm…

Ask a person who spent weeks trying to finish a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, only to find the last piece missing. Or a woman trying to lose the last, stubborn one pound. Oh boy, these can be really frustrating, isn’t it?

In my case, something as small as a road detour caused me to shift my entire routine. Instead of taking a mere 30 minutes to get to work, my journey time has almost doubled because I have to use the MR2 and face its “peril”.

Personally, “small” does not mean insignificant. As the world becomes increasingly hectic, I realise that one of the ways to keep life in perspective is to concentrate on the small things that make me happy, rather than the large that don’t.

So, perhaps the point here is not to simply treasure the small things in life. Perhaps, it is to realise that the small things can be the big things too.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

mucho gracias, Eyta

I love this song. I heard it last night at the gym after the bodysteps class. While I was humming the melody, Eyta (my gym buddy) came.

"Jamie, I have the lyrics if you want."

What else could I say, kan. Of course, I want!

Eyta kept her promise. This morning, I received an e-mail from her with the lyrics of The Reason by Hoobastank attached.

Million thanks to Peter E. Mueller's Secretary. By the way, Peter E. Mueller is Eyta's boss.

***

The Reason by Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something
I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

tribute to friends

When I'm driving I like to tune to mix.fm expecially in the morning. Shazmin and Richard (the deejay) will pick a topic and get caller(s) to give their views. Topic of discussion is very general and normally relate to our life.

This morning's topic caught my interest. Shazmin was talking about her good friend (gosh, I don't remember her name) who willing to take a day off helping her to sort out her stuff. She [Shazmin] just moved into a new place and have tones of "junk" i.e. stuff that she likes to keep though not needed anymore. Her friend make it easier for her to go through the stuff and for us (ladies) these "junk" have a lot of memories attached to it. In short, Shazmin successfully detached her emotion and spring clean the whole "junk", of course with her good friend's support.

What captured my thought was on the friendship. It brought me back down the memory lane taking stock of my friends whom I considered as buddy. I realised that I have so many of them where ever I moved. Let me see... hmmm, I have childhood friends from primary school, good friends from boarding schools, college, university, office, softball, gym buddy etc. I also realised that I've not been in touch with most of them for ages. I have only few remain actually...

***

To all my dearest friends where ever you are,

If you read this, I want you to know that I think of you, too. Don't be suprised that I am, eventhough I have not met some of you for quite some times. I am thankful that our paths crossed and you have made my life some what richer. Let us cherish all the precious moment together. Keep in touch (if we can) and treasure the memories we’ve created together.

All the best and May God bless you always.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

there are still people with heart

The Sunday Mail is not my ritual reading on Sunday. I went to Cold-Storage KLCC before ushering and grabbed my "usual" dailies plus the Sunday Mail. News on the front page immediately caught my attention - "Stranger with a heart". I was in tears while reading it. I share the same sentiment if I were in Khairil Noin's shoes when a stranger offers to help.

Khairul Noin, 18 may never walk again after being thrown off his motorbike in a hit-and-run accident. He needs Rm12,000 to enable him to undergo the corrective spinal surgery. That was, until a Seremban-based entrepreneur walked into their lives and offered a miracle.

It so happened that the B.I. Group of Companies Chairman Datuk Suresh Shannon was undergoing treatment in the same ward of Seremban Hospital when he heard Khairul cries in a nearby bed, and his mother. Hearing Khairul's desperate sobs was heart-breaking for Shannon. He [Shannon] could not stop thinking about Khairuls' cries, later decided to help this boy at all costs.

I am deeply touched by Datuk Suresh Shannon's gestures.

I then wipe my tears.

Monday, February 21, 2005

just leave me alone, please!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

an evening with the "big" boys


We told Erja yesterday if her fever subsides and if she behaves and eat her medications, we will bring her to watch rugby game on Saturday at UKM, Bangi match between PETRONAS vs. D'montel [Proton's former staff, methinks].

Thankfully, she recovered from the high fever and all geared up for the match. Since it's a rugby match, she wanted to wear one of her favorite rugby t-shirts. Her Abah bought it when he was posted in Abu Dhabi, UAE about two years ago.

Since we couldn't find her miniature rugby ball, she ended up playing with the real rugby ball which is way too big for her size. We had fun especially when our team [PETRONAS, of course] won!

aren't they look alike?


Erja and her Abah during the rugby match between PETRONAS vs. D'montel at UKM, Bangi.

Friday, February 18, 2005

make Erja [or your child] smarter

I got an e-mail entitled "The Best Gifts Ever : Life Experiences Every Child Should Have" from God-knows-who about gifts for our children. Apparently, we, parents spent so much on our children's presents alone.

However, the best gifts we can give our children can not be purchased in a store. And while they are within the grasp of all parents to give, not all children receive them. What are these gifts? It is nothing more than six simple life experiences every child should have. While we'll continue to buy gifts for our kids, let's make sure the six below are also given along the way. They may not be as exciting to receive as the latest game or toy, but as our children grow older and reflect on their lives, they will be truly thankful to have received them.

Hear me...

1.

The gift of healthy habits.

Children need to learn about and experience regular exercise, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition. Help instill these habits from an early age, or any age for that matter. Encourage your kids to get active. Explore and use your neighbourhood recreation centre. Re-discover walking. Teach the importance of healthy eating.

2.

The gift of unconditional love.

Show your children how much you love them—with your words and actions. Let them know that you will always be there for them. Teach your children to separate their actions from their sense of self. Explain that while you might sometimes be disappointed or even furious with their actions, you will always love them.

3.

The gift of compassion.

As a family you might volunteer your time or talents to assist those in need. Some families agree to donate 10% of each child's allowance to a charity of his/her choosing. Consider sponsoring a child, or adopting an abandoned pet from your local SPCA or Humane Society. Teach them the value of action—getting involved and selflessly giving of yourself so that others may gain.

4.

The gift of potential.

Help your children discover their own unique talents, as well as identify new ones. Try various activities and explore areas of interest. Nurture their potential through hobbies, visits to the library, or talking to people in various fields. Guide gently, giving your trust, encouragement and congratulations along the way. Sometimes all they need is for someone else to believe in them before they believe in themselves.

5.

The gift of optimism.

Children and teens can often feel overloaded or overwhelmed by situations and events. Teach your child that every situation can be overcome. Learn about self-talk, and to focus on what you have, rather than what is missing—letting go of "what should be". It has been rightly said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

6.

The gift of humor.

Children laugh all the time, but later in life we sometimes lose the ability to find the lighter side of situations. Show your kids it's OK not to take themselves too seriously. Nothing reduces stress, or can change your attitude faster than a smile or good giggle such is the power of laughter.

***

We have stopped buying gifts [toys to be specific] for Erja about a year ago. Not that we are "kedekut", but more because Erja herself didn't show much interest. Our observation that the longest time she spend on new toy is about 7 minutes. Her reaction is the same as other kids when they get new toys, but in Erja's case, toy does not seem to stimulate her. She normally focus her energy trying to fix and to the extent dismantled them all. You won't see the toy again, until her cousins Ai'man and Da'nia come to visit. The toys will be left alone in her toy box.

Interesting enough, Erja loves book. She gets this from her Abah, definitely! She reads [at least imitate us] books or magazines as though she understands it. Erja has her scrapbook. She will get her Abah to draw ter-ly [butterfly], loon [balloon] and pish [fish] all over her scrapbook. I love watching both Erja and her Abah bond together. She is like her Abah's miniature. Oh, she loves to sing and dance too. And I'm telling you, she seriously can dance...

Thank God it's Friday!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

when the heat strike

I literally didn't sleep last night. Yes, I was really tired especially after the bodysteps class. But, I just couldn't sleep. Erja was sick and her temperature went up to 40 degrees. I stayed up all night observing her.

I remembered seeing her body shaky and it broke my heart to see her like that. Erja was admitted once last year due to high fever. I don't want her to go through the same thing again and if only I can transfer Erja's pain to me. Oh... only God knows. We rushed to Gleneagles Medical Centre around 3:30 a.m. but she was happily awake (yes, this is Erja) enjoying the early morning drive. Alhamdullillah, nothing serious but we have to make sure she finishes all the medication. Being a mom, of course we will sacrifice just anything for our children.

"Erja darling, get well soon. Mimi (she called me Mimi instead of Mummy) loves you so much."

beauty tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows,

And the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

sepang, here I come!

Finally we received an e-mail from Mike Montoya, our lead driver that the practice for the medical marshal cars is confirmed on 26th - 27th February and 5th - 6th March from 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

Yes, I'm driving again this year for the F1 PETRONAS Malaysian Grand Prix in Sepang. It is the most-awaited moment and I can't wait. Drivers' line-up is pretty much the same as last year with two new recruits to replace Nina Girl and Keng (yes, I'm gonna miss these two baduts). I know this will be another fun year.

Let's spin the wheels!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

tell me who doesn't?



I can't get enough of Erja. She is the most beautiful girl in the whole universe. Then again, as her mummy I may be biased. Whatever it is... "Erja, mummy loves you with all my heart!"

could there be a long lasting relationship?

It would be nice if we could all follow a simple formula to lead our life, but life doesn't always follow the recipe. Human beings are complex creatures, each with his or her own set of aspirations and life experiences. Not to mention that variations also comes in differing levels of trust, prejudices and needs for companionship.

Perhaps the trickiest part of making new "friends" is maintenance. That's what I think. If we are seeking out a new relationship, perhaps we need to gauge the level of intimacy that works for both parties. Once it is established, at least a comfortable level of intimacy, then we need learn to live within the boundaries. Yes, it is never easy. Strong relationship bonds take time to develop, so never force the issue.

The relationship may survive in a long-distance mode (works for me, *gulp*), or it may wither from lack of maintenance. We must be prepared for either eventuality. Other relationships suffer from a shift in intimacy, in which the other person finds more satisfaction in a new or different affair.

Relationship is a constantly revolving state of being, so one of the best ways to remain a good friend is to allow those you care about to explore their own options. If the relationship is worth saving, it is imperative that we allow for the negative as much as the positive. Of course, all good things must end.

Forming a lasting relationship is not easy, for me at least...

Monday, February 14, 2005

if

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And which is more you'll be a Man, my son!

***
Wani, thanks!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

pringles, new advertisement



Yummy, I just can't resist it!

with butterfly


Erja at Isetan, KLCC

Erja was too excited to catch the "ter-ly" (read: butterfly) and I managed to snap a shot of her in-action. Suddenly, a salesgirl approached me. "Kak, tak boleh ambil gambar la..."

And I said, "Opps, I did it again!"

Friday, February 11, 2005

why waste time being unhappy?

Nina told me about one of her friends who had lost her father and spent a lot of time crying. But later that her friend realised, she can't grief forever. There's a limit to it. Nina told her friend, "I don't think we have time to waste being unhappy about our past."

And as I listened, I kept hearing her, "Why waste time being unhappy? Why be unhappy about something you can't change?"

It fine tunes my attitude about the remainder of my life...

Ayah, I'm thinking of you at the moment. I have so many stories to share with you and I hope you are listening. I've been talking to you every now and then. I love you!

learn to let go

Oh dear, my trusted IBM Thinkpad T21 is running very very very slow. I think I need to get Torqxic to look at it. I know he can recommend (or fix) something. And may be it is time to let it go?

Oh no, I love (still) myT21 which I bought about 2 years ago...

But, speaking of letting go of myT21, I have this (look at the picture) in mind as a replacement. Yes, iBook G4 is in my wishlist, but not too soon. Not until the bonus is out la.

Last friday, I met my friend Honey, a freelance journalist at SFC. She using PowerBook now. Honey has been using Mac since ages ago and encouraged me to switch to iBook if I'm looking for a new laptop. But not PowerBook for sure, not at the moment. iBook G4 will be more than enough.

I've been thinking a lot about iBook G4 lately. And I have a feeling myT21 "merajuk?" Ouch... ouch... I don't mean to ignore you sweetie pie (myT21) especially after all these years. Yes, love is the answer, that's for sure!

When circumstances can't be changed, I can change!


My new fantasy, iBook G4

Thursday, February 10, 2005

an evening stroll



Erja and I went to the playground nearby the house at around 5:30 p.m. today. Usually, her Neksu will bring her during weekdays. This is actually her daily ritual.

It is interesting to note that, Erja is actually "famous". Everyone seems to know her (but not me!) and start calling her as we entered the playground. In few seconds, she was surrounded with all the kids of her age and also "bibiks".

Now you know why I said she is "famous"? And thank God, the "bibiks" know that I am Erja's mummy.

Note: Bibik is referring to an Indonesian maid

erja's new pair of sandals for year 2005


Bought at Isetan, KLCC on 6th Feb.

Last year alone, I've bought for Erja a total of 2 pairs of shoes, a pair of sandals and a pair of slippers for Hari Raya. I know it's not good but she actually wanted it! Yes, I can always ignore her tantrum, but wait till you have yours la...

I can justify for the purchase this time around. She can't fit into all her shoes except her slippers. I'm not too sure whether it's a UK, USA or Asian measurement standard but her shoe size has expanded from 15 to 17. I was shocked when the salesgirl told me that size 17 is for 3 year old kid. And how old is she again? While I'm being crowned as "Ms Cinderella" because of my small feet, now I doubt that Erja can hold this title for me.

Oh well, I've learnt my lesson, never bought too many shoes for kid at this age. They grow up real fast and might not able to mark any significant milestone with all the collections! I think, a pair of shoes and sandals would and should be enough.

Some other facts that I need to note about Erja besides her shoe size are; she weight about 12 ++ kg and diaper size changed from L to XL.

"Erja don't worry too much about your weight. When you grow up, you will learn this important word - GYM. So, it's OK, mummy will not pressure you..."

bersama hijrah

It is the 1st Muharram otherwise known as Maal Hijrah. This simply means today is the Islamic New Year's Day. The year is now 1426H.

I did not really make a new year resolution last year. But due to some recent events in my life, I will make one this year. A concerned souls have given me such advice and to make life more interesting, they throw me a challenge. The conditions are pretty interesting too, compelling even. And as hard as the challenge is, I don't think I can ignore it.

I can't help but hope after all that mankind has been through in the year 1425 Hijrah that maybe, just maybe in the year 1426 Hijrah, we will be humbled to value the most precious gift of all - life.

Selamat menyambut 1 Muharram 1426 Hijrah!

Note to self:
[Marilah bertaubat dengan memohon ampun kepada Allah selain berdoa agar dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan reseki. Ambillah iktibar daripada apa yang berlaku di sekeliling, akhir-akhir ini. Jika direnungkan, ia banyak memberi keinsafan mengenai kebesaran dan kekuasaan Allah].

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

beautiful girl


Erja, permata hatiku

man knowledge

I got it from a friend ages ago . Whether it's right or wrong, I don't have ALL the answers. But I thought this is appropriate.

***

80 (why 80? I dunno) Things Every Grown Woman Should Know & Think About

  1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
  2. Stop making excuses for a man's behavior.
  3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
  4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
  6. Don't force an attraction.
  7. Slower is better.
  8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
  10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
  11. Don't settle.
  12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship-take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
  14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
  16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
  17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
  18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
  19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
  20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
  21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
  22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
  23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
  24. Be honest and up-front.
  25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
  26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
  27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
  28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.
  29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
  30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
  31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you're...even if he has more education or in a better job.
  32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
  34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
  35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
  36. Actions speak louder than words.
  37. Never let a man define who you are.
  38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
  39. Never borrow someone else's man.
  40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
  41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
  42. To use painful hard-won wisdom-'get it right' the next time.
  43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.
  44. Love is a verb.
  45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
  46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
  47. All men are NOT dogs.
  48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
  49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
  50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
  51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
  52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
  53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
  54. Never give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
  55. Never become your man's "therapist".
  56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
  57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can mend it but it takes two to make it work.
  58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
  59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
  60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You can't force a man to hang out with you.
  61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
  62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
  63. Never move into his mother's house.
  64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
  65. Never co-sign for a man.
  66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
  67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
  68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
  69. When it's time to let go; let go.
  70. Good men should be treated like good men.
  71. Don't play games.
  72. You can't make a wh**e into a housewife - or husband.
  73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
  74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
  75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.
  76. Never believe a man who says "that's just my baby momma", you can be sure, there'll be drama.
  77. Never believe a man that tells u he want to be with you, while he's with someone else, - if he wanted to be with you, he would make it happen more sooner than later.
  78. Don't be a man's doormat, make him open the door for you, because a real man would do this on his own.
  79. Dealings with a married man, most likely won't work out in your favor.
  80. There is someone out there worthy to be in your life, let out the trash so he can come in.

But, perhaps some of the statements are rather too "stereotype", "oh-not-so-true" or "are-you-kidding-me". It is still subject to an individual, of course. And please also apply some common sense and add a bit of humor in it...

If you STILL can't find the answer HERE, then I can't help you!

Be blessed and be smart!

"Jie, my sincere thank you for the e-mail. I have it composed half-way but still on the save as a draft mode. I'll talk [e-mail] to you soon".


a one million dollars smile


Erja at 20-months-old and will turn 2 in April.

She is ever-ready for action! Just look at that smile.


Tuesday, February 08, 2005

a bout the chinese_astrology.com

The Ox/buffalo is the hard working, serious loner of the family whose essence is "endurance." The opinionated Ox is determined, strong, and conservative, with a notable gift for manual dexterity and working with their hands. Family and duty are of the utmost importance to the home-spun Ox. Souls born under this 2nd sign of the zodiac are capable of leading nations, not to mention running a most efficient household. Oxen are powerful individuals with stubborn, reliable personalities. Whether at home or at work these souls need to be captain of their ship and are dependable, honest, and stable. The quiet, yet firm Ox is easy-going, but possesses intense passion beneath their calm exterior. The industrious Ox needs a partner of substance and loyalty. Oxen gather strength during the quiet post-midnight hours they rule, between 1:00am - 3:00am.

The nature of the Water element is that of feelings and emotions. Reflection, sensitivity, and powers of persuasiveness characterize those born under the Water element. Water descends, seeks out, and fills low places; especially the hearts of the brokenhearted and needy. Those souls born under the element of Water are dominated by their feelings and need to communicate. The Water element endows one with a quick mind and lucidity. Water is chaotic at times and does not have its own form, but takes on the shape and character of the vessel. Water element persons advance their own ideas by influencing the vote of others. Those born under the influence of the Water element are empathetic with others, possessing a calm and sedate nature. The Water element has a gift for seeing things objectively and those influenced by it, are much sought after for their council. The Water element relates to the way others feel, Using intuition to keep a finger on the pulse of the world. Water element souls have a well developed ability for communicating with people and thrive in public relations or social work. Water's physical organs are the kidneys and bladder; it's flavor is salty. Water's color is blue and corresponds to the season of Winter and cold.

hmmm....

what will the rooster bring?

1.

This will be another long holiday and I'm planning to stay in KL aje. Already have a long "to-do lists" with Erja, but I hope it's not too overwhelming for her. I also need to catch up on my readings (The Da Vinci Code pun tak habis-habis), Along's birthday on the 9th February - might have a small family gathering at my mom's, and may be teh tarik or coffee with friends.


2.

According to Shelly Wu, a California-based astrologer said, "People born in the Year of the Rooster are deep thinkers, capable, and talented. They like to be busy and are devoted beyond their capabilities and are deeply disappointed of they fail".

I'm not sure how far this is true. Anyways...

I would like to take the opportunity to wish all my Chinese friends a happy and prosperous Chinese New Year.

Monday, February 07, 2005

love yourself

It's easy to say, but a lot of people just don't do it. You have to love yourself first. While some may say that this is a selfish way to live, I honestly think that this is the only way.

After what I've been through, I constantly remind myself that loving me, first and foremost, is more important than everyone and everything else. I come first. I am important. And that's okay.

When you love yourself, you're really just being kind to yourself. You start to eat right, exercise right, and you're happier which makes you a more secure, confident person. Loving yourself simply means first believing that you're beautiful. When you believe in your own beauty, others will believe in it to.

I'm going to continue my old ritual i.e. bodypump and bodysteps. I have not been going religiously since November last year. But thank God, I still look good and to exaggerate more, I'm in much better shape now that I ever was.

Oh well, I'm moving on with my life...

may be it's never too late

Tanggungjawab seorang ayah

Suatu ketika, ada seorang anak perempuan yang bertanya kepada ayahnya, tatkala tanpa sengaja dia melihat ayahnya sedang mengusap wajahnya yang mulai berkerut-merut dengan badannya yang terbongkok-bongkok, disertai suara batuk-batuknya. Anak perempuan itu bertanya pada ayahnya : "Ayah, mengapa wajah ayah kian berkerut-merut dengan badan ayah yang kian hari kian membongkok ?" Demikian pertanyaannya, ketika ayahnya sedang berehat
di beranda.

Si ayah menjawab : "Sebab aku lelaki."
Anak perempuan itu berkata sendirian : "Aku tidak mengerti"...

Dengan kerut-kening kerana jawapan ayahnya membuatnya termenung rasa kebingungan.
Ayah hanya tersenyum, lalu dibelainya rambut anaknya itu, terus menepuk-nepuk bahunya, kemudian si ayah mengatakan : "Anakku, kamu memang belum mengerti tentang lelaki." Demikian bisik Si ayah, yang membuat anaknya itu bertambah kebingungan.

Kerana perasaan ingin tahu, kemudian si anak itu mendapatkan ibunya lalu bertanya kepada ibunya : "Ibu, mengapa wajah Ayah jadi berkerut-merut dan badannya kian hari kian membongkok? Dan sepertinya ayah menjadi demikian tanpa ada keluhan dan rasa sakit ?" Ibunya menjawab : "Anakku, jika seorang lelaki yang benar-benar bertanggungjawab terhadap keluarga itu memang akan demikian." Hanya itu jawapan si ibu.

Si anak itupun kemudian membesar dan menjadi dewasa, tetapi dia tetap juga masih tercari-cari jawapan, mengapa wajah ayahnya yang tampan menjadi berkerut-merut dan badannya menjadi membongkok?

Hingga pada suatu malam, dia bermimpi. Di dalam impian itu seolah-olah dia mendengar suara yang sangat lembut, namun jelas sekali. Dan kata-kata yang terdengar dengan jelas itu ternyata suatu rangkaian kalimah sebagai jawapan rasa kebingungannya selama ini.

"Saat Ku-ciptakan lelaki, aku membuatnya sebagai pemimpin keluarga serta sebagai tiang penyangga dari bangunan keluarga, dia senantiasa akan berusaha untuk menahan setiap hujungnya, agar keluarganya merasa aman, teduh dan terlindung."

"Ku ciptakan bahunya yang kuat dan berotot untuk membanting-tulang menghidupi seluruh keluarganya dan kegagahannya harus cukup kuat pula untuk melindungi seluruh keluarganya."

"Ku berikan kemahuan padanya agar selalu berusaha mencari sesuap nasi yang berasal dari titisan keringatnya sendiri yang halal dan bersih, agar keluarganya tidak terlantar, walaupun seringkali dia mendapat cercaan dari anak-anaknya".

"Ku berikan keperkasaan dan mental baja yang akan membuat dirinya pantang menyerah, demi keluarganya dia merelakan kulitnya tersengat panasnya matahari, demi keluarganya dia merelakan badannya berbasah kuyup kedinginan dan kesejukan kerana tersiram hujan dan dihembus angin, dia relakan tenaga perkasanya dicurahkan demi keluarganya, dan yang selalu dia ingat, adalah disaat semua orang menanti kedatangannya dengan mengharapkan hasil dari jerih-payahnya."

"Kuberikan kesabaran, ketekunan serta kesungguhan yang akan membuat dirinya selalu berusaha merawat dan membimbing keluarganya tanpa adanya keluh kesah, walaupun disetiap perjalanan hidupnya keletihan dan kesakitan kerapkali menyerangnya".

"Ku berikan perasaan cekal dan gigih untuk berusaha berjuang demi mencintai dan mengasihi keluarganya, didalam suasana dan situasi apapun juga, walaupun tidaklah jarang anak-anaknya melukai perasaannya, melukai hatinya. Padahal perasaannya itu pula yang telah memberikan perlindungan rasa aman pada saat dimana anak-anaknya tertidur lelap. Serta sentuhan
perasaannya itulah yang memberikan kenyamanan bila saat dia sedang menepuk-nepuk bahu anak-anaknya agar selalu saling menyayangi dan saling mengasihi sesama saudara."

"Ku berikan kebijaksanaan dan kemampuan padanya untuk memberikan pengertian dan kesedaran terhadap anak-anaknya tentang saat kini dan saat mendatang, walaupun seringkali ditentang bahkan dikotak-katikkan oleh anak-anaknya."

"Ku berikan kebijaksanaan dan kemampuan padanya untuk memberikan pengetahuan dan menyedarkan, bahawa isteri yang baik adalah isteri yang setia terhadap suaminya, isteri yang baik adalah isteri yang senantiasa menemani, dan bersama-sama menghadapi perjalanan hidup baik suka mahupun duka, walaupun seringkali kebijaksanaannya itu akan menguji setiap
esetiaan yang diberikan kepada isteri,agar tetap berdiri, bertahan, sepadan dan saling melengkapi serta saling menyayangi."

"Ku berikan kerutan diwajahnya agar menjadi bukti, bahawa lelaki itu senantiasa berusaha sekuat daya fikirnya untuk mencari dan menemukan cara agar keluarganya dapat hidup didalam keluarga bahagia dan badannya yang terbongkok agar dapat membuktikan, bahawa sebagai lelaki yang bertanggungjawab terhadap seluruh keluarganya, senantiasa berusaha
mencurahkan sekuat tenaga serta segenap perasaannya, kekuatannya, kesungguhannya demi kelanjutan hidup keluarganya."

"Ku berikan kepada lelaki tanggungjawab penuh sebagai pemimpin keluarga, sebagai tiang penyangga ( seri / penyokong ), agar dapat dipergunakan dengan sebaik-baiknya. Dan hanya inilah kelebihan yang dimiliki oleh lelaki, walaupun sebenarnya tanggungjawab ini adalah amanah di dunia dan akhirat."

Terkejut si anak dari tidurnya dan segera dia berlari, mengambil wuduk lalu solat dan berdoa hingga menjelang subuh. Setelah itu dia hampiri bilik ayahnya yang sedang berdoa, ketika ayahnya berdiri si anak itu menggenggam dan mencium telapak tangan ayahnya.

"Aku mendengar dan merasakan bebanmu, ayah."


***

Al-fatihah. Ayah, you are always in my prayer.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

self reminder

Allah anwers prayers in 3 ways;
  1. He says yes and gives us what we want,
  2. He says no and gives us something better, and
  3. He says wait and gives us the best in His own time.

Nina, thanks for the sms


Saturday, February 05, 2005

reflection of my week

So many things happening to me this week. I can't focus on what I'm doing and thinking.

It has been a very stressful week, no thank you to Harry Connick. Jr. (HCJ), a man of many moods, all supremely musical. I was on duty for the past two nights and tonite is his last concert. We are lucky because HCJ and crews tak banyak songeh. Met a lot of VVIPs, celebrities and of course a lot of wannabe guests yang perasan important. *sheeeshhh*

Anyways, work-wise, we finally concluded our market and strategic study and this mean more work for us. And may be more overseas trips... finger crossed! Health-wise, some improvements but I still can't sleep at night. Other than that, nothing interesting to be remembered or shall I say, I choose not to remember them. I have put a lot of thoughts and may be it is time to leave my past behind. In deed, it is a tough year.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

the fourth trimester

The thank-you note real moms in the fourth trimester would like to send:

Dear Friends,

Thanks for sending us the presents. I'm sure Erja will love it as soon as she can do anything besides eat. sleep, cry and run up the stock price on Pampers. Having recently entered the Fourth Trimester, right now my goals in life are to sleep more than three hours and shower before 7:00 p.m. So please excuse this impersonal note.

I'd live for you to come over and see Erja. But no helpful hints, no critiquing of the fact that:-
  1. breast-feed without a cover-up;
  2. do not breast-feed and formula;
  3. allow my child us a pacifier; and
  4. use a Swynho-matic to hypnotize my child into a state eerily similar to an Ecstasy trip

Do not tell me that Erja looks cute. I know that she looks like a cross between E.T. and Yoda. And no comments about my figure. I am not Cindy Crawford or J Lo and, yes, those are maternity clothers I'm still wearing.

Bring rain gear and you'll be well prepared for the nonstop torrent of liquid escaping from Erja and me. Can't wait to see you-of course, these days I'm even looking forward to having my mom and mother-in-law visit. I'll take whatever adult company I can get.

Love and kisses from me and the pumpkin!


there’s a reason they call it labor.

Recovering from labor is the closest thing most women come to recuperating from a heavyweight fight. Chances are you were pushing hours on end, you didn’t sleep a bit, and you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck.

If you had a vaginal delivery, and an episiotomy or tearing to boot, you are going to be sore and in serious pain. (I’m just exaggerating; it is not as bad la).

If you had a C-section, you’ve had major abdominal surgery and you’re going to be in more serious pain. (See, didn’t I tell you earlier?).

This is very easy to forget. Just because people have them all the time doesn’t change this fact. Since it bears repeating, again, you’ve had major abdominal surgery. Don’t try to do everything – in fact, don’t try to do anything. Just sleep, feed the baby, and get waited on hand and foot. Sooner than you would like, everybody will leave and it will be just you and baby, fending for yourselves.

From The Fourth Trimester, and You Thought Labor Was Hard…

To Amy, you have all my prayers…

p/s - Yes, I know... it's late but I can't sleep.

interview with Erja?


Erja Hakkinen right after the Japanese GP, 1998

Erja Häkkinen, the woman behind the champion. Of all women behind the drivers she was most often in the picture. Right after Mika's victory in Monaco the driver and his seven years older girlfriend entered the matrimony. F1 talked to Erja Häkkinen right after the Japanese GP, where her husband won the F1 World Championship.

What does the title mean to Mika?
I think it means a lot to him, because he has worked very hard to achieve it for many years and he has always dreamed of being a World Champion. It went like he wanted in every way. From the driver's point of view it was perfect. There were a lot of highlights and good times. Because of that he could accept the technical problems better than before. Last year they were much harder to accept. This year he lead the Championship from the beginning and that made it easier for him

Were the victories a stimulant to him?
Since last year they have been a big motivator for him. It worked out well, especially for his self confidence.

Has he changed since you first met him?
When you get older, you understand things better, the good and the bad. I have known Mika now for three and a half years. I met him six months before his accident in Adelaide. That was a very traumatic experience. We still talk about it. There is nothing negative about it. He learned a lot because of it. Now he thinks a bit differently about things like life, his work, his family and friends. He can calm down and think about everything in a positive way and that makes him stronger.

What was the worst thing about the accident for you?
For me the worst thing was that when it happened I was in Paris. I saw it happen live at four o'clock in the morning and there was nothing I could do. I tried every phone in the area, but I just couldn't get through. The relief came next morning, when I managed to get a flight to Australia. I had to fly 24 hours before I knew what was going on. But as soon as I saw him, I knew he would be OK.

It looks like Mika keeps his private life for himself and that we don't know him really?
That is true. You have to keep a private life private and you have to keep some things for yourself. That is a part of your inner strenght. The results do the talking, not what is going on in your mind. It is a sort of self protection and that is what gives him the mental power.

Does he ever get emotional?
Of course, he is a human. When he has to get over a big disappointment, sometimes that can take half an hour. He doesn't want to share that feeling with anybody. He fights it out with by himself and tries to understand why he is disappointed, he tries to analyse it. When he is finished with that he continues with the daily routine.

What are his best qualities?
I think it is the way he can concentrate and the way how he treats other people. Mika is a teamworker. He is not the man who says: it's all mine. It is very important that everybody in the team work together, that they understand him and that he understands them. I think that is his power. He is not an egocentric person.

Is the support he gets from Ron Dennis important to him?
Maybe he needs the support, but I don't know if that is the right way to say it. The support has growed. Mika has worked with Ron for so many years and there has been both good and bad moments. They have brought them close together. Ron is someone who knows Mika very well. He is someone who cares a lot about other people. Mika and Ron have a close relationship between them.

Does Mika like the life as a married man?
It is too early to answer to that. We will have to wait and see.

http://www.hakkinen.net/aboutmika/articles/1998_interviewerja.html

who's the bald guy standing next to Erja?


It's Mika Hakkinen